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Sunday, December 12, 2010

Why a Girl Should Marry an Engineer

Doctor
Supposedly, all women are after a doctor, so don't expect your relationship to last more than 5 years. Eventually, he'll run off with some nurse from his office, or one of his young women patients that is pretending to be sick. He'll wait until you are stuck with a few kids to do this. This is not a problem with your engineer husband. He had a hard enough time meeting you. It is unlikely he'll ever meet another woman in his profession.

Lawyer
Do you seriously expect an honest, trusting relationship with someone who gets paid for lying? Once again, this is not a problem with your engineer spouse. He doesn't have enough social skills to lie convincingly. An additional drawback to marrying a lawyer is when the divorce happens you will get nothing.

Salesman
See honesty segment under lawyer. Plus, he will be traveling to trade shows, etc. Where he will be in the company of other equally trustworthy individuals. Don't be surprised when you get the invitation to show up on the Ricki Lake Show. The company that your engineer husband works at will keep him in a cage, often called a cubicle, until he is ready to go home to you.

Teacher
The only reason he entered this profession is so that he could be surrounded by newly post-pubescent girls who idolize him. He'll be in jail soon, and then you'll have to look for another man.

Hazardous Professions, i.e. Firefighter, Construction Worker, etc.
Your husband, if he is not dead by some accident, will likely be crippled with a back injury, etc. Just about the time you are at your sexual peak. The only hazard that your engineer husband will face is losing his eyesight by staring at the computer terminal for too long. This hazard actually has some benefits. For one, he will not notice that you are getting older, since you will be a blur. He will remember you as when he first met you, because the memory will still be sharp. And if you think he is looking at another woman, and you ask "honey, were you looking at her?", he'll honestly be able to say that he didn't even see her.

Top 10 reasons to date an Engineer:

10. The world does revolve around us... We chose the coordinate system.

9. No "couple" enjoys a better "moment".

8. We know how to handle stress and strain in a relationship.

7. We have significant figures.

6. We have taken a course on the motion of rigid bodies.

5. Projectile motion... Need we say more?

4. Engineers do it to specification.

3. According to Newton, if two bodies interact, their forces are equal and opposite.

2. We know it's not the length of the vector that counts, but how you apply the force.

1. We know the right hand rule.

"Fate takes you just as far. Destiny is when everything falls right into place and it's just up to you to make it happen."

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